Paying Attention, Learning from Awareness
It’s challenging during these times—due to our reliance on technology, ever updating news cycles and more—to focus. To be present. You may experience some level of anxiety, or FOMO, as if you’re “not keeping up.” But, is that really possible? Can you stop, and notice? What are the effects on you—your emotions, thoughts, bodily sensations and moods—to be constantly seeking information, endlessly scrolling and hypnotized by the ever-changing pixels on your screen?
Learning skills of mindfulness can be an antidote to all the distractions. Sure, you can follow along to a guided meditation. You may feel benefits, yet it’s hard to establish a regular practice. And then what? When left to your own devices, can you slow down to notice—can you be intentional about where and how you direct your attention? Mindfulness can be a helpful framework where you’re learning to notice, observe and cultivate awareness.
Sometimes the first step in behavior change is cultivating awareness of a pattern, or sequence of thoughts, feelings, and actions… Running on autopilot will not change them. Awareness of something you’re trying to do differently—even why you may do that very thing—can help. So the practice of becoming aware: to observe, notice and witness yourself is key.
Some practices that support living with clarity:
- Setting intentions
- Letting go of expectations
- Balancing priorities
- Relating to What’s Really Happening
- Responding skillfully
- Cultivating compassion
- Reducing self-harm
- Practicing gratitude
- Following What Feels Right
- Keeping boundaries
While I do not teach individuals I work with to meditate—there are plenty of apps and meditation teachers—therapy as a space for learning and inquiry can develop into tools to live more skillfully. With guidance to be mindful in therapy, you practice being an observer of your own experience—in the moment—as you are both experiencing and noticing. During the week when you practice this, you begin to apply mindfulness to everyday living. Learning to observe whether what is happening feels pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral—and how your thoughts, words and actions similarly can be labelled so. From ongoing observations, you may find more agency or choice in shaping how you respond, and therefore feel as you are living your one precious life.
The Power of Being Present
A common point of tension I notice in supporting individuals in therapy is how to interact with What Is. While you may have expectations, best laid plans, hopes and wishes… then reality presents itself, maybe differently. There may be anger, confusion, disappointment, and stress. Impulses to push reality away, or even fight it, are common. How do you adapt? What do you notice about yourself coming to terms with What Is?
Learning to be with What Is, in and of itself can be a process. However, once you feel the benefits of disentangling from expectations, old habits of mind, and turning your attention to whatever situation, or conditions, are right in front of you, things can be easier! Truly, learning to be present can be both humbling and liberating.
Introductory books on mindfulness:
Beyond Distraction
Buddha Standard Time
The Miracle of Mindfulness
Mindfulness In Plain English
The Things You Can Only See When You Slow Down